remembering the unremembered
I reached another milestone last night – I finished my first pass through the novel doing a grammar check and read through. I had started trying to do several checks at once, but decided that it might be better to do several run throughs rather than getting bogged down trying to do it all in one pass.
I’m going to start my next pass and see how quickly I can get it done. In this pass I’m just going to be reading the dialog and working on the different characters’ voices.
Six months into the year, it’s time to see how I’m doing on the goals for the year.
1) Send out a news letter each month.
So far, so good. I’ve written and sent one news letter each month. A couple times I was finishing the newsletter in the last couple days of the month, but I sent one out each month. It has been interesting picking the topics each month. This year I’ve written about: Dwarfs, Journals, Fight Scenes, Where is God, World Building, Where I’ve been.
2) Post at least one character blog entry per week.
Julie – 6
Hector – 1
Samuel – 1
Annay – 2
Turies – 5
Brian – 4
For a total of 19 in 26 weeks.
Better than half, but not were I wanted to be. Part of the problem is that I sabotaged myself. I started looking at my blogs and wondering if they were becoming a prequel to my novel. In other words if they were or should be centering around a central story. While thinking about that question it distracted me from writing just random posts. I think I do want to have the blogs tell a story, but I still want the blogs to be spontainous and free formed. I’m going to spend the next couple weeks mapping out where I want the blogs to go and get back to writing one a week.
3) Have my story flogged.
I sent in the first 16 lines and they were flogged. I learned a few things and I’ve made some changes. At some point I probably should send in my revised 16 lines.
4) Complete the first revision of my book by June.
I’m about a third of the way through and have not made any progress in the last three months. It has been a bit frustrating. I think there are two my reasons that I’ve been making slow progress. The first is that I’ve been working so much at my full time job that I come home I am mentally exhausted. The second is that I think that my check list of things to check in the first revision was too ambushes. I think I need to go back and run through the book in multiple passes.
My new goal is to get through the grammar pass by the end of July. Then I’ll pick something else off my list and try and do that in August.
5) Read the two books I got for my birthday.
I’ve read 3/4 of the manuscript makeover book and skimmed through the other. I want to finish the manuscript book this summer. It is still a little early for the second book to have much meaning to me. Maybe this coming winter.
The flogging came and went.
I faired better than some, but in the end the answer was no – he would not have turned the page. I’ve spent some time rewriting the opening taking into account the comments I received. Here is the original and the rewrite. Which do you like better?
Original
Dear Journal,
The war has not been going well. Today, we lost the last farms outside of the town walls, and the turpes and foeturs have completed surrounding the town. It seems they are waiting just out of arrow’s reach. They may not be smart, but they’re at least clever. The Captain said we have enough food and other provisions to hold out for another month, but that he doubts help will come in time. He called for volunteers today to go up into the mountains to discover the turpes plans. Cadmon, Hector, Julie, Red Beard, and I volunteered to be one of those teams.
I’m looking forward to getting out into the woods again. It’s been hard being stuck in town for eight weeks. It’s hard to focus with people all around who are upset because they’ve lost their farms and their families.
It’s strange how people fall apart when people they know die. Life is such a fleeting thing after all – with people dying all the time. Even though people hear of death everyday, death seems to catch them by surprise when it takes someone they know. Perhaps it’s my mental training as a wizard that lets me keep control of my faculties while those around me are loosing theirs.
Rewrite
Dear Journal,
The war took a turn for the worst today. We lost the last farms outside of the town walls, and the turpes and foeturs have completed surrounding us. They are staying just outside of arrow range, but I could see them clearly, taunting us.
I used the monocular Master gave me for my birthday – I wish I hadn’t. I could see turpes’ naked bodies, barely covered with short black hair – I don’t understand how God could have created something so hideous. I was trying to figure out what they remind me of, but nothing really fits. Maybe the elongated face of a wolf, but their heads are wider and rounder like a great cat. Their bodies are likes men’s, but shorter and more muscular, and the hair on their heads is matted and long.
After the last of the farmers and guards were safely inside and the town gates locked, the captain called everyone together. He asked for volunteers to go up into the mountains to locate the turpes camp and discover their plans – Cadmon, Hector, Julie, Red Beard, and I volunteered to be one of the teams.
I’m can’t wait to getting out into the woods again. Eight weeks is a long time to be stuck in town. It’s hard to focus with people all around who are emotional because they’ve lost their farms and their families. I wish they could be more disciplined like me.
I sent the first two chapters of my novel to www.floggingthequill.com to get flogged. I wonder how many days it will be till it is posted?
I’ve read and tweaked the first 16 lines several time. I like it, but I don’t know if it is page turn worthy. The first page is a journal entry, so it will have to be really strong to get Ray to turn the page. It is not a flashy action scene, but it does set the scene and foreshadows some of the problems that are coming.
The waiting is going to be tough.
The first death of the winter in the Mallen Valley came one day after the first snow.
Chief Torin recounts the events.
Winter has come with the first snow. With the snow comes change. Some welcome that the change and others resist it.
In loss …
My heart ached with the memory
My thoughts lingered on his history
My soul cried in its misery
My body quaked with the finality
In writing…
My heart found expression
My thoughts posed its question
My soul sought compassion
My body gave up its aggression
In remembering ….
My heart is filled again
My thoughts of him remain
My soul struggles to retain
My body cries in vain
In sharing …
My heart found compassion
My thoughts found solace
My soul found hope
My body found peace
In losing my son at age fifteen
My life was turned upside down
In writing I found a connection
Ways to express the inexpressible
Through blog and verse and prose
I shared my painful journey
And even if my mother was the only one to ever read them
Our tighter bond is reward enough
I just wrote a journal entry for Brian, Master Gees’ houseboy. The entry was a reflection on duty. In Boy Scouts we say, “I will do my duty to God and my country.” I get to ask each boy what it means for them to do their duty, and what their duties are to God and to their country.
Almost universally the eleven year old boys have a tough time expressing what duty is and what their duties are. Even though I’ve tried to explain it dozens of times. I still have a hard time explaining duty in words that a boy can understand – maybe because I’ve never really put it into words that I understood.
I think about my duty to God. Is it obedience to God? I would say that it is my duty to be obedient, but not the other way around – I am being obedient by doing my duty to God.
In the blog I wondered if duty had to do more with the motivation than the actually thing being done. Is it my duty because I’m afraid of the consequences? No. Is it my duty because I’ve been charged with the obligation? Maybe sort of.
I think, at least in part, that I do my duty to God because of my realization of how wonderful he is. He is so great that as an act of recognition of that greatness, I feel a sense of duty. Doing my duty is not about the results of my actions, but instead a response to God’s actions in the past.
Is the same true for my country? I feel a duty to my country, not because I might be rewarded for doing my duty, but instead because of how good my life is because of this country. I follow the laws and pay my taxes, not because I fear the punishment for not doing these things, but because I believe that I live in a great country that deserves that response from me.
Perhaps that is the problem with how we view duty. We are surprised when people don’t do their duty. But if someone feels betrayed by their country, where would the motivation to do their duty come from? And when citizens stop feeling like they have a duty to their country, the country has to find another way to obtain obedience – fear.
How much better when citizens feel a duty to their country. rather than when a ruler has to use fear. How much better when we feel duty towards God because he has loved us, rather than to live in fear of the wrath of God if we are not obedient.
I’m glad I feel a duty to God and to my country, not a fear of God and country.
First of all my goal for 2009 was to finish the first draft of my WIP. I finished the first draft at 9:00 PM on New Years eve. Three hours early, that’s good for me.
2010 goals:
I started doing a monthly newsletter in September and did one for each following month of 2009. For 2010 I want to send out a newsletter each month.
In June of 2009 I created Blog sites for the four main characters of my book. In the last 7 months of 2008 I posted 18 blogs entries, or about 2 per month. In 2010 I want to post at least on entry per week.
I was inspired my Christine’s flogging. By March I want to have submitted my first 16 lines for a flogging. I’m not sure I can do any better than most of the people who get flogged there, and I have to admit I’m a little fearful to try, but it seems like a first good step to get ready to send my WIP to an editor, where I’m sure they’ll flog the whole thing.
My WIP has very short chapters. 108 chapters of about 1050 words each (133,00 words total). I’ve created a check list from the things I learned from The Fire In Fiction. I want to do a revision of four chapters a week, or all of them by the end of June.
What’s the point, Outer turn, Inner turn, Concise dialog, First Line, Last line, Micro tension, Building storm.
Read the two books I received for my birthday on revisions and getting published by June so I will know how to do the second revision and start on the road to getting published.
I wasn’t sure I was going to make it, but on New Years Eve I finished the first draft of Unremembered Loss. At just over 113,000 words it is hard for me to believe it’s really done. Of course done is a relative term. Now the hard work begins. No more just being creative and writing what comes out. Now I get to see if I can practice the craft.
Things I already know: