My Loss

Eight years ago I lost my father to cancer after years of battling.
In October of 2007 I lost my 15 year old son to a bicycling accident.
Coming through these two experience I have felt a lot, thought a lot, grieved a lot, learned a lot, and I’ve started writing a lot.
It is through my writing that I have kept my balance through the ups and downs. My blog entries were a dumping ground for my emotions, my beliefs and my thoughts.
In December of 2008 my writing turned towards a novel that I started shortly after my father’s death, but didn’t know how to write. After my son’s death, I had the heart needed to put the words onto paper, and the experience to fill in the holes.
I am sad that my father had to die before his grandkids really had a chance to get to know him, but at the same time I am so thankful that God used my father’s death to prepare me for my son’s death.
I don’t believe that God caused my son to die, or somehow decided that it was just time for him to come home, but I do believe that God uses the tragedies in our lives and somehow brings about good through them.
My dad’s death prepared me for my son’s death. My son’s death prepared me to touch the lives of the dozens of people that I’ve shared my story with.
I thank God for using my life despite how I mess it up, and at the same time I’m fearful of what I might be prepared to face now. I can’t, or perhaps won’t, imagine anything worse than loosing my son. But if I do, I know that holding onto my God and my friends would allow me to survive it.

In 2001, I lost my father to cancer after years of battling.

In October of 2007, I lost my 15 year old son to a bicycling accident.

Coming through these two experience I have felt a lot, thought a lot, grieved a lot, learned a lot, and I’ve started writing a lot.

It is through my writing that I have kept my balance through the ups and downs. My blog entries were a dumping ground for my emotions, my beliefs and my thoughts.

In December of 2008 my writing turned towards a novel that I started shortly after my father’s death, but didn’t know how to write. After my son’s death, I had the heart needed to put the words onto paper, and the experience to fill in the holes.

I am sad that my father had to die before his grandkids really had a chance to get to know him, but at the same time I am so thankful that God used my father’s death to prepare me for my son’s death.

I don’t believe that God caused my son to die, or somehow decided that it was just time for him to come home, but I do believe that God uses the tragedies in our lives and somehow brings about good through them.

My dad’s death prepared me for my son’s death. My son’s death prepared me to touch the lives of the dozens of people that I’ve shared my story with.

I thank God for using my life despite how I mess it up, and at the same time I’m fearful of what I might be prepared to face now. I can’t, or perhaps won’t, imagine anything worse than loosing my son. But if I do, I know that holding onto my God and my friends would allow me to survive it.

If you would like to experience my walk through the loss of my son, a good place to start is http://douglasgclarke.me/mile_markers/Entries/2007/12/22_A_wreck_along_the_way.html 

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